Saturday, October 20, 2007
A trying 24 hours...
As written in my last entry, since about 6plus yesterday my grandfather's blood pressure (BP) took a drop. After injecting dopaine (or dunno the medical term la), the BP went higher. As mentioned in my last blog entry, we went home on friday night at about 10. I was doing the usual stuff at night when at about 1am, the nurses called my mum and said that my grandfather's BP dropped to 45. We rushed down within minutes and managed to "call him back". All the relatives were alerted and a crowd appeared in the room. Everyone started to talk to him.
If you read my last entry, i prayed that GOd would give me some more time and one more chance. I stood by his bedside for an hour or so, and my heart kept beating faster. I could sense the Holy Spirit's prompting and I felt that i just had to do it, i do not want to live in regrets. So i plucked up my courage and aftering asking for permission from mum n grandma, i shared Christ with my grandfather. Actually i didn't say much. I just introduced Jesus and explained how He loves and forgives us our sins and want us to have eternal life with Him. I asked if he wanted to accept him. Though my grandfather was still conscious at that time, he couldn't really speak because of the oxygen mask. So i asked him to just smile if he wants to. AFter some probing, he suddenly responded (when i thought he was already going to sleep). He looked at me in the eye and smiled and said "HO" which means okay in hokkien. Then he started getting drowsier. I wanted to confirm his response but i couldn't get his attention by then... so i kept asking him to pray in his heart and prayed for him and in faith claim his salvation. Only God knows whether he received Jesus in the end. But i choose to believe that he did, since the response was really sudden and timely.
Until about 4am, when grandfather's condition was more stable, people started to leave. A few of us stayed throughout the night. I didn't realli get to sleep at all. In fact i don't dare to, because anything could happen anytime. In the morning, i had to call my colleague to inform her that i could not turn up for NCC duty on saturday. I am glad they were all so understanding. The whole day, i was just sitting around and having little scares here and there. The relatives started to stagger in in the late morning. The doctor said that things didn't look good and there is already 55% of carbon dioxide in the blood. Nevetheless, they are still trying medication etc. At around 1plus when it's lunch time, everyone left for lunch. I was the only one who stayed behind. WIthin the next 5 mins, the BP dropped to a low at 60 again... i called my sister immediately to ask them to come back. In everyone's presence, the BP rose again to above 100. So everyone felt that it was another false alarm. At about 2pm plus, my family decided that we should go back and rest. I had no choice but to follow back.
Upon reaching home, i totally KNOCK OUT. At about 4plus, i woke up suddenly on my own. Till now, there was no phone call from anyone which means my grandfather's condition was still okay. I wanted to continue to sleep but somehow, i couldn't. There was no peace in my heart. In the end, me and mum went for dinner and took a cab down together at about 6pm. (my sis, fiance and bro were sleeping like dead logs) I decided to leave my car keys on the computer in case they have to rush down later.
SO me n mum reached at 6.10pm, and saw only my cousin there. Everything looked fine. After about 15mins, i went to the toliet and i could hear the BP machine beeping loudly (it beeps when it drops to a low). I rushed out of the toilet and saw the BP dropped to 60 again. This time, my grandfather doesn't seem to be breathing heavily any more. In fact he seems to stop breathing. I immediately activated all relatives to come while my mum kept shaking and talking to my grandfather. Everything happened so fast, i could see my grandfather gasping for his last breath before he gave up and i could see the pulse rate dropping from 89 all the way to 0. Within half an hour, he was gone. Though we were all mentally prepared because of the many false alarms we had since friday 5pm, i still couldn't stop crying. Tears just gushed out and the nurses wanted to stop me from witnessing his death. I told them that it's okay, i could take it because i know God.
I was glad i obeyed the Spirit's prompting and went. Because of this, I was able to be by his side till the end of his journey, because except for my sister, those who were notified at 6.30pm actually didn't make it before his heart stopped. But they choose to believe that the sense of hearing is the last to leave and spoke their last words to him when they reached.
This is actually the first death i witness in my family. I do not know how well i can take it, but i do take comfort in trusting that he is with the Lord now. This 24 hours has been realy trying for my granddad as well as all of us. I almost couldn't take it too, my eyes are swollen now and i am so super tired. My hands were shaking when i was holding my chopsticks just now. I am going to sleep now. Just one last thought to leave with you...
Live your life to the fullest.
You don't bring money with you when you leave;
You don't bring any possessions with you when you leave;
You don't bring your career with you when you leave,
but you do bring love to your death bed when you sow love when you had lived.
flew into your heart at [11:13 PM]
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