Saturday, October 20, 2007
A trying 24 hours...
As written in my last entry, since about 6plus yesterday my grandfather's blood pressure (BP) took a drop. After injecting dopaine (or dunno the medical term la), the BP went higher. As mentioned in my last blog entry, we went home on friday night at about 10. I was doing the usual stuff at night when at about 1am, the nurses called my mum and said that my grandfather's BP dropped to 45. We rushed down within minutes and managed to "call him back". All the relatives were alerted and a crowd appeared in the room. Everyone started to talk to him.
If you read my last entry, i prayed that GOd would give me some more time and one more chance. I stood by his bedside for an hour or so, and my heart kept beating faster. I could sense the Holy Spirit's prompting and I felt that i just had to do it, i do not want to live in regrets. So i plucked up my courage and aftering asking for permission from mum n grandma, i shared Christ with my grandfather. Actually i didn't say much. I just introduced Jesus and explained how He loves and forgives us our sins and want us to have eternal life with Him. I asked if he wanted to accept him. Though my grandfather was still conscious at that time, he couldn't really speak because of the oxygen mask. So i asked him to just smile if he wants to. AFter some probing, he suddenly responded (when i thought he was already going to sleep). He looked at me in the eye and smiled and said "HO" which means okay in hokkien. Then he started getting drowsier. I wanted to confirm his response but i couldn't get his attention by then... so i kept asking him to pray in his heart and prayed for him and in faith claim his salvation. Only God knows whether he received Jesus in the end. But i choose to believe that he did, since the response was really sudden and timely.
Until about 4am, when grandfather's condition was more stable, people started to leave. A few of us stayed throughout the night. I didn't realli get to sleep at all. In fact i don't dare to, because anything could happen anytime. In the morning, i had to call my colleague to inform her that i could not turn up for NCC duty on saturday. I am glad they were all so understanding. The whole day, i was just sitting around and having little scares here and there. The relatives started to stagger in in the late morning. The doctor said that things didn't look good and there is already 55% of carbon dioxide in the blood. Nevetheless, they are still trying medication etc. At around 1plus when it's lunch time, everyone left for lunch. I was the only one who stayed behind. WIthin the next 5 mins, the BP dropped to a low at 60 again... i called my sister immediately to ask them to come back. In everyone's presence, the BP rose again to above 100. So everyone felt that it was another false alarm. At about 2pm plus, my family decided that we should go back and rest. I had no choice but to follow back.
Upon reaching home, i totally KNOCK OUT. At about 4plus, i woke up suddenly on my own. Till now, there was no phone call from anyone which means my grandfather's condition was still okay. I wanted to continue to sleep but somehow, i couldn't. There was no peace in my heart. In the end, me and mum went for dinner and took a cab down together at about 6pm. (my sis, fiance and bro were sleeping like dead logs) I decided to leave my car keys on the computer in case they have to rush down later.
SO me n mum reached at 6.10pm, and saw only my cousin there. Everything looked fine. After about 15mins, i went to the toliet and i could hear the BP machine beeping loudly (it beeps when it drops to a low). I rushed out of the toilet and saw the BP dropped to 60 again. This time, my grandfather doesn't seem to be breathing heavily any more. In fact he seems to stop breathing. I immediately activated all relatives to come while my mum kept shaking and talking to my grandfather. Everything happened so fast, i could see my grandfather gasping for his last breath before he gave up and i could see the pulse rate dropping from 89 all the way to 0. Within half an hour, he was gone. Though we were all mentally prepared because of the many false alarms we had since friday 5pm, i still couldn't stop crying. Tears just gushed out and the nurses wanted to stop me from witnessing his death. I told them that it's okay, i could take it because i know God.
I was glad i obeyed the Spirit's prompting and went. Because of this, I was able to be by his side till the end of his journey, because except for my sister, those who were notified at 6.30pm actually didn't make it before his heart stopped. But they choose to believe that the sense of hearing is the last to leave and spoke their last words to him when they reached.
This is actually the first death i witness in my family. I do not know how well i can take it, but i do take comfort in trusting that he is with the Lord now. This 24 hours has been realy trying for my granddad as well as all of us. I almost couldn't take it too, my eyes are swollen now and i am so super tired. My hands were shaking when i was holding my chopsticks just now. I am going to sleep now. Just one last thought to leave with you...
Live your life to the fullest.
You don't bring money with you when you leave;
You don't bring any possessions with you when you leave;
You don't bring your career with you when you leave,
but you do bring love to your death bed when you sow love when you had lived.
flew into your heart at [11:13 PM]
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The many stunts of Little Lilac
Recently, i have been travelling long distances. Long, unfamilar roads...
Thursday 18th Oct 2007:
I fetched two other colleagues from school to a class chalet in Pasir Ris Home Team NS chalet. Okay, we have all heard of Costa, downtown east, even loyang... but who on earth knows where this ulu pandan place is?! In any case, after thorough checking up on the route, i decided that we it's enough and we should go by faith! Haha... amazingly, we were not lost. Managed to find our way there. Although there was a hiccup somewhere...
As i exited TPE, i was abit lost at the small pasir ris roads. I stopped at the rightmost turn right lane and suddenly realised that the turn should be on the left! So i did a STUNT. There were no cars behind. But a bus was travelling at a very slow speed some distance away. I just turned left and cut 3 lanes... in other was. It was red light and my car was across 3 lanes, parallel to the pedestrian crossing... Yes, it was an extraordinary sight.
As for my journey home, it was about 1am and I was thinking about how i could go home from there, my colleague was suggesting that i follow his car and take the tampines and bedok then bartley road back... at first i thought, well, since there's no choice... But then, when we turned out of the park, i saw the signboard showing TPE. So i decided to muster up all courage and go to TPE alone... although i have absolutely no idea how to transit to PIE and which one to go. Anyway, i was lucky at my first try. Haha. I reached home in 15mins.
Friday 19th Oct 2007
I was supposed to MOE HQ for a meeting. First time did my little Lilac try to find its way from school to bouna vista road. Thank GOd for a friend who gave so clear directions on the map he drew for me. But being the world greatest road idiot, i eventually missed the exit and ought to turn back. But then, it was a all straight road to AYE and there were no right turns! However, there were very few vehicles on the left junction (which only has right turns) turning right. And no cars were moving on both sides of the road (red light). So little Lilac pulled a stunt again. Super duper illegal U-turn. Just imagine. My heart skipped two beats. Finally, i reached MOE and there comes another challenge... the vistor's carpark was full. I had to go all the way to another carpark uphill. Eventually i found my way but nearly got lost when i tried to walk out of the building on the hill top.
Just at the time when the meeting ended, my sister called me to tell me that my grandfather was in a critical condition. My heart sank. I wanted to rush down asap. But i didn't know how to go from MOE to Tan Tock Seng! I tried to call my friend to ask for directions but he didn't answer the call. So in the end i decided to go still all the way back where i came from and then take the CTE near my house to go TTSH (the usual way my sister lead me when i sent her to work) Thank GOd for the previous 2 trainings, i was able to find my way there on my own. You see, God has a purpose for everything. : )
Some of you might be wondering how was my grandfather. We were told to be prepared... his blood pressure kept dropping since 4pm. When i reached at 6pm, i understood what my sister meant. Thank God at about 7 plus, his blood pressure got a little bit better when more people came to visit him. (In fact, i think the last time i saw all my relatives was during CNY last or this year. ) It kept fluctuating actually... so the hospital staff are monitoring it. Doctor said that the probability of mortality in this kind of situations is 1 in 2. 50%. I am very scared because there is something i feel i have not done. I pray that God would give me more time and one more chance.
flew into your heart at [11:24 PM]
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Little Lilac's adventure for the day
After a good night of rest at Hyatt yesterday, Little Lilac set off to its journey after lunch. First time did it ferry 5 people. First time did it appear in orchard. First time did it buang its rim. (Haizz) First time did it not miss any turn. But if there were to be a 2nd time, would it still find its way?
Let me share this with you first... : )
After dinner with my sister, Little Lilac decided to make its way to Tan Tock Seng again. Though this is the 2nd time, Little Lilac was still not sure of the route. Good thing for me, my sis was there to guide me. haha. Anyway, after visiting my granddad in the hospital for an hour, Little Lilac got to ferry the owner's mum home. Hmm... this is so DeJavu. BUT! This time round, it didn't end up in Sim Lim Tower! It succeeded in reaching HOME within minutes! Hallelujah!
So do you think Little Lilac would be able to find its way the 2nd time?
flew into your heart at [10:08 PM]
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Saturday, October 13, 2007
Little Lost Lilac
It's been 3 weeks since i first drive my lilac around Singapore. Believe it or not, my lilac has travelled long distance since then. : ) After the Changi Airport adventure, my lilac went for servicing at Pandan Crescent. For those who don't know where it was, it was somewhere off west coast highway, further up from NUS. Thank God for my friend who drove the car for me there, while i took a cab that afternoon and collect the car. Then it was, i started on my "lost adventure"....
I followed the taxi driver's driections, to go clementi way then bukit timah adam road etc... But sotong me once again prove my "road idioticness" by ending up at upper bukit timah then dunno what expressway then dunno what exit then dunno what turn dunno what road... in any case, i took half an hour more than i should be taking. That's not all too bad... haha.
The next incident was when i decided to be a nice sister and nice grandchild to send my sister to work and then my grandma home. After dropping my sister at Tan Tock Seng, my next destination was supposed to be toa payoh, which is actually 10 mins away by CTE. Lo and behold, sotong road idiot me brought my grandma and mother (who wanted to just go for a ride) all the way to Sim Lim Tower...! **fainted** I had to keep assuring my grandma to relax and that she will eventually reach home haha. Anyway after turns and lotsa wasted distances travelled, i eventually found a place to stop and look at the street directory. It took me 15 mins to orientate myself and found a route home. So, the conclusion was, little lost lilac actually took 1 hour 10 mins to go from Novena to Toa Payoh, 700% of the original amount of time needed. Is that a record? hmmm...
This night, little lilac went to Bedok 85 Market for supper all the way from SengKang, and made its way make all the way home. For the first time, little lilac made its way safely home, without having to make extra U-turns. haha... Therefore, i have to note it down in my blog this day, to commemorate the successful journey for little lilac. Jiayou! : )
flew into your heart at [1:02 AM]
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Saturday, October 06, 2007
If you could choose...
If you could choose, would you choose a different gender?
If you could choose, would you choose a different look?
If you could choose, would you choose a different day to be born?
If you could choose, would you choose a different family to be born in?
If you could choose, would you choose a different set of parents...
If i could choose, i wouldn't mind any gender
If i could choose, i would choose the same look
If i could choose, i still prefer my birthday
If i could choose, i would still choose my siblings
If i could choose, i would choose the same mother,
but not the same father.
If ONLY i could choose...
flew into your heart at [7:28 PM]
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